Lost in the Smoke
by Aenigmatis
Summary: Alternate ending for season six. Buffy doesn't know that Spike has left town, instead, she thinks something far worse has happened. -NOW COMPLETE-
1. Chapter 1

Title: Lost in the Smoke

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but this story.

E-mail: fallmark18@aol.com

He stood outside her house, hidden by the shadow cast by the large tree. The only signal of his presence to anyone passing by would have been the slight glow from the end of his cigarette and the slight radiance of moonlight reflecting off his peroxide hair, but nobody noticed, because nobody cared enough to look. He'd been there since before the light went out in her room. He knows that she loves him, but she's still hung up on the whole mortal enemies thing.

            "So, nothing can love without a soul huh. I guess we'll just have to fix that, won't we luv?"

            They were in the crypt, arguing again, while any number of evil creatures could be enjoying the night air since the Slayer was MIA to her slaying duties. Of course, all Spike was concerned with was making his point with Buffy, which he knew all to well was a lost cause, and Buffy still had no idea want she really wanted.

_            "Bloody hell luv, don't give me the 'I can't' excuse again. I've already got that one fucking memorized. Why won't you admit it, to yourself, to them? You love me. There is nothing wrong with that," Spike, declared to her, his face just inches from hers to make sure she couldn't turn away from the truth again._

_            "There is everything wrong with it. I'm the Chosen One, the one girl in all the world chosen to stand against the darkness. How can I do that if I'm sleeping with the darkness? I can't love you," Buffy was tired of fighting with him, and she couldn't decided if she wanted to release all her emotions by hitting him, or crying on his shoulder._

_            "You said can't, not don't. I love you, pet. Nothing else should matter."_

_            "But you can't love me either. You don't have a soul. Nothing without a soul can love."_

_            That had ended the discussion. Spike ran out of the crypt, slamming the door behind him, thinking only of the need to kill something. Buffy watched him go and quickly dismissed the idea that she had finally gone too far._

            Spike threw down his cigarette and ground it into the dirt with the toe of his shoe. "I'll be back soon pet, then we'll see who can love you." He took one last long look at her window, turned, and walked to the DeSoto. Soon, Sunnydale was just a fading blur in his rearview mirror, well, if the windows weren't black it would have been.

**********

            Buffy was woken up at eight a.m. by the shrill sound of sirens. The light from the early morning sun shone through the sheers on her window and fell across her. She lay there a few minutes, trying to choose whether to get up and see what was going on in her fair town, or just lie there and let someone else handle it for a change. There was only so much a slayer could take care of; besides, the Sunnydale police department should have to shoulder some of the work. She heard Dawn moving around in the hallway outside and decided that she had a way to find out what was happening without even getting up.

            "Hey Dawn. When you go downstairs, turn on the news and see what is going on? What's with all the noise?" Buffy yelled at her sometimes bratty little sister.

            "Okay Buffy!" Dawn screamed back loud enough and high pitched enough to make her sister wince, but then nothing was new about that.

            She had just had time to wiggle back down into the covers and get warm again when she heard the television turn on downstairs. The channels audibly changed several times on its way to the news. All she heard were the words explosion and cemetery when Dawn gave out an earth shattering, "BUFFY!"

**********

I know this was short, but it's my first attempt at a multipart story so the chapters may be kind of short. Please R/R. I need all the suggestions I can get. Thanks. This should be updated later today or tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 2

(Disclaimer in part one)

            Buffy flung off the covers and ran down the steps to the living room. Dawn was standing in front of the television set with a look filled with horror and disbelief spread across her face. She turned around, stared wide-eyed at her older sister, and pointed at the screen. Buffy's gazed followed her sister's arm to the tv. On it were plastered images of police cars, emergency response vehicles, and a charred mass of ruble.

            There were multitudes of graves and tombs in the background of the shot to indicate to anyone that the scene before them was taking place in one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries. The firefighters were hosing down the smoldering ashes of what had at one time been a somber mausoleum. Buffy stared in disbelief at the remnants of a crypt she often visited, his crypt.

            She bounded up the stairs to her room and put on the first thing she found, the jeans and navy blue top she had worn out on patrol last night. She threw on her shoes and went back to the living room where Dawn was till standing with her mouth gaping open in shock. Buffy grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look at her.

            "Dawn. I'm going to call Xander and have him stay with you for a little while, okay? Everything will be alright. Don't worry, I'll take care of it." She hugged her little sister and maneuvered her over to the couch.

            Buffy walked over to the phone and picked it up. For a minute, she just looked at the receiver. It would be so easy to retreat into her shell, wait to come out until everything was okay and the pain would be gone, but she had to be strong. Finally, she dialed the familiar number and he picked it up on the third ring.

            "Hello."

            "Hey Xander. Could you come over and stay with Dawn for a little while?"

            "Sure Buff. What's happening at this time of the morning? Surely, no demons get up this early. Of course, having to be up this early is kind of evil in itself."

            "Turn on the news."

            "Which channel?"

            "It doesn't matter."

            There was a lull in the conversation as he turned on the television and put it on the news. It was obvious when he found it because of his sudden glee. "Wow. Somebody finally did it. Good for whoever…"

            "Xander. I don't want to here it right now. I have to go find out what happened because Dawn is freaking out. Or at least she will be when she comes out of her catatonic state the sight of Spike's crypt being blown up put her in. So, will you come over or not?"

            "Yeah. I'm leaving right now. Bye." He hung up before she could even say bye. It weren't for helping Dawn, Buffy knew that seeing to Spike's well-being wouldn't rank very high on Xander's priority list.

            Buffy paced in the foyer until Xander arrived a few minutes later. She grabbed him before he could go to Dawn. "I don't know how long this will take so try to help her however you can. Watch her mostly. And absolutely no crude remarks about Spike. There's no telling how she would react right now and I don't want to have to deal with it later." She turned around and yelled to Dawn, "I'm leaving sweetie. I'll be back later," before she fled out the door.

            Buffy wasn't sure if she had ever ran from her house to the cemetery that quick before. One minute she was leaving her front porch, then the scenery bled together into a blur, and she was standing in front of the crypt in the next moment of clarity. She realized that not only does the camera add ten pounds to actors, but also it glosses over many of the harsh realities of life.

            She could feel where heat still radiated off the ruins in places. There were still wafts of smoke floating away on the breeze. The stench of brunt materials enveloped the area, all kinds of smells, but mostly the smell that lingers when you blow out a match. The aroma that can be pleasant but is too strong when something this big is blown out. The colors were more vibrant. The blacks, grays, and browns standing out at a stark contrast to the light blue of the sky and the discolored ground.

            Buffy saw a man who and just come out of the remains and over-heard him talking to one of his buddies. "Man, you should see it down there. It looks like someone had been living in there. It's all decked out. There was even a bed in the second level. How many tombs have two levels? And what kind of freak lives in a crypt anyway?"

            "Yeah, what kind of freak indeed," Buffy thought to herself. She walked up to the man who had been talking when his buddy trudged off. She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around to look at her.

            "Excuse me, but, you just came out of the crypt didn't you?" She asked. She must have looked worse than she thought because of his response.

            "Yes ma'am I did. Are you alright? You look like you need to sit down. You shouldn't be here."

            " I know. Could you tell me what you found down there? Were there any piles of ashes?" She felt silly for asking. She knew that they wouldn't know what to look for, but she couldn't go back to Dawn without asking.

            "Well, there are lots of ashes down there miss. Looks like bed used to be in there and chair. Maybe a table. Sort of looks like there used to be some appliances, lord know what all else, or how whoever it was got electricity to this place. Did you know the person living down there?"

            "Yeah. He was my …friend."

            "Well I doubt he was in there when the bomb went off. We haven't found a body and we've been through the whole place. Maybe you should just go home and see if you're friend calls."

            "You wouldn't find a body," Buffy thought but answered only with an, "Okay," and walked away. She trudged back toward Revello Drive dreading telling Dawn what she suspected and feared. How could she tell her sister that her best friend was gone? For that matter, how could she tell herself?

**********

            In the cargo hold of ship floating across the Atlantic, Spike was trying to avoid the rays of sunlight that were coming through cracks in the deck. The fact that there were cracks in the deck worried him slightly, but it wasn't like he had to lose sleep about drowning. His weight shifted with every pitch and roll of the ocean surface.

            He tried to envision the trials ahead of him. He wondered why no one else had ever thought of this when the information was so easy to get. But most all, he thought about her. How would Buffy react to a complete Spike? Would she run to him happy, or do what was more likely, and still run from him? He could only hope for her to welcome him home, but he expected the swift staking he deserved for leaving her.

************

This is some longer than the other part. Hope everyone likes it. Please R/R. Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 3

(Disclaimer in part 1)

            It was dark when Buffy finally made it back to her house. She had gone to everywhere she could think of, hoping against hope that someone had seen Spike since the explosion. Clem hadn't seen him. He hadn't been to Willy's. She even wanted to see him playing poker for kittens, but there were four strange people at the table. She had taken the sewers all day hoping to catch him in transit, but all she got for that was more disappointment and ruined jeans.

            She stopped on her porch with her hand poised to turn the doorknob. Instead of going in, she turned and sat on the steps. She couldn't face Dawn, not yet. She didn't want to look into her eyes and see the pain that she herself felt, but couldn't show, reflected there. She didn't think she had the strength to keep her sister from self-destructing and keep herself sane at the same time.

            All she wanted to do was to run, as fast and as far away from the pain as she could get. She didn't want to feel this, or anything for that matter. She wished that she could return to the emotionless robot she had been when she first came back, the Buffy she had been before Spike had helped her be herself again. It was funny everything she thought during the day, trying to escape reality of otherwise, had led in the end to him. It struck her as odd that she had never realized how centered on him her life was.

            Many emotions were running through her along with the overriding pain, but mainly she was mad. She was made at the powers that be for cursing her with an unlucky love life. She was mad at Spike for leaving her like all the other men in her life had. She was mad at whoever the maniac was that took him from her. And mainly she was infuriated at herself: for not realizing how much he meant to her, for treating him like he was beneath her, and for not telling him that she loved him when he needed to be told.

            Finally, she realized that there was no way to get out of telling Dawn and that she might as well bite the bullet and go in. She went in the house and her little sister launched herself at her. Dawn buried her face in Buffy's shoulder and mumbled into her ear, "Buffy, what… what happened?"

            Buffy led Dawn to the couch, held her shaking hands, and looked her square in the eye. She knew that if she wavered then they would both fall apart. "Dawn. I don't know how, or why, but I do know that someone used on bomb on Spike's crypt. I don't know if he was there at the time or not, but I tried everywhere I could think of that he might have been and on one had seen him. We can still hope for the best, but we're probably going to have to face the fact that Spike's gone."

            Instead of accepting her anguish and grief, the healthy option, Dawn responded by lashing out with anger. "So, just like that, you're giving up hope. He was, is your friend. Don't you care if he's okay or not? Why aren't you upset, or out killing things until you find out how this happened? He loved, loves you, how can you just write him off this easy?" She turned and ran up the stairs, the sound of her slamming bedroom door soon following.

            Buffy hung her head dejectedly. She did care and she didn't want to write him off, but if she wasn't honest with herself upfront then she would eventually go as loony as Drusilla.

She didn't even notice that Xander was still there until he put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up him and smiled. He always stuck by her and tried to help, no matter what happened or how bad things got. The fact that he still had a crush on her was probably a factor in that, but why look a gift horse in the mouth. She really needed to talk to someone right then, but Xander wouldn't understand, so she would just have to talk to Will about things.

            "Xander, don't have to baby-sit us any longer. Why don't you go home, get some rest? We'll be fine," Buffy told him. She hoped that he got the hint that she wanted to be alone at moment.

            "Alright, if you're sure. If you need anything, just call."

            "I'm sure and if I need anything I will. Watch out for baddies on the way home."

            "Okay. I'll come by sometime tomorrow. Bye Buff." Xander went to the foyer, put on his coat, and left.

            Buffy looked around her living room and marveled at how empty it felt now that she had accepted that Spike wouldn't ever be in it again. She could see him sitting in the chair talking to her mother when they teamed up to stop Angel from waking Acathla. She got up and walked aimlessly around the first floor of her home. She could see them making out against the stairs during her birthday party that wouldn't end. She looked out the kitchen window and could see him comforting her the night she found out her mom was going in for more tests. She went upstairs to her room and she could feel him touching her, could remember him making love to her.

            Buffy stripped off her shirt and jeans still smelling of the Sunnydale sewers and donned her soft pajamas. She lay down and curled up around the extra pillow on her bed. She tried to banish the images and memories from her mind, but nothing would help. She finally drifted off into a fitful, restless sleep; fighting her own demons in her subconscious, knowing that no one would come to help her like usual.

**********

            The darkness in the cave was so pitch black and complete that anyone without supernatural abilities would have been floundering around and crashing into walls. Spike made his way through the shadows to his destination in the heart of the caverns. The hideous sounds and shady imagery dancing around the cave were a tad intimidating to even the Big Bad, but Spike pushed on reminding himself that this would all be worth it. It was all for her.

            He had about given up hope that this could actually happen, chalked this excursion up to trusting lore, when he came around the last bend and saw the demon who resided within the cave. It was colossal and gruesome. The old Spike would have turned back, ran from difficulty to save his own skin, but the man that Spike wanted to be wouldn't let him let Buffy down.

**********

Well, here's the third chapter. I haven't gotten any reviews yet so I guess I'm just writing this for me now. Works for me. If anyone is still reading please review my ego could use it. Thanks.


	4. Chapter 4

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 4

(Disclaimer in part 1)

            Buffy slowly awoke in the morning to the sensation of sore muscles and the traces of mascara on her tear-stained pillow. She had had a single nightmare repeatedly throughout the night. In her dream, she had been on patrol. She made her way through all of the cemeteries until finally she ended up at the crypt. It was still standing, maybe not as pristine as it had been when it was built, but as neat as she had ever seen it. And he was in the doorway waiting for her.

            Spike was leaning against the entryway watching her with that gleam he always got in his eye when she was around. He smirked as he shifted his weight away from the wall. "So pet, took you long eno…" The rest was always cut off by the blast. She could see a bright flash and then it just stopped. She didn't wake up though. It just replayed sucking her back in every time.

            The phone ringing forced her to roll over and actually function. She picked the handset up and answered groggily, "Hello."

            "Hey Buffy. What are you doing?"

            "Oh hey Willow. Nothing. Where are you?"

            "Tara and I are at the airport. Is someone else going to pick us up instead of Xander, cause we've been here for half an hour and he's not answering his phone?"

            "Oh God Willow, I'm so sorry. Things have been tense around here while you guys were on vacation and I forgot to tell him what time your flight came in. Go ahead and get a cab. I'll pay for it since I'm the one that forgot."

            "Alright. We'll be home in a little while. Bye."

            "See you soon. Bye."

            Buffy hung up the phone and berated herself for not remembering when Willow and Tara were coming back from their trip. They had gone to a gathering on the east coast of many of the covens of Wicca in the country. They had considered canceling it after all the trouble the Scoobies had had recently with Warren and his lackeys, but Buffy had insisted that the world, and their lives, didn't have to stop because that. It had been her job to tell Xander when to pick them up and because the turmoil in her own life she had neglected her friends.

            "Just because one friend is gone, I can't overlook the others," Buffy thought to herself. She realized how callous that must seem to other people, but it was better than the alternative. Not feeling at all was better than feeling the loss. When she was awake she could block off her emotions, it was sleep that she feared after the previous night. In sleep, the emptiness took over and besieged her. It was then that she couldn't escape reality; the only time she was human. Awake she could just be the Slayer and let Buffy fall to the wayside. No one would force her to feel any emotions; no one would call her bluff. Only one person had ever done that, and he was the one who was gone.

*****

            Buffy was sitting in the living room on the couch when a knock came at the front door. She rose to open it. Tara and Willow were on the porch, their luggage stopping them from getting out their keys. They came into the foyer and set down their bags.

            They looked so refreshed and happy. The time away from the Hellmouth had done them a world of good. The looks they gave each other, the emotions in those sideways glances ate way at their friend's heart. She launched herself at Willow and buried her face in her best friend's shoulder. She felt like crying, but she didn't have any tears left.

            Tara sensed the sadness and frustration coming off of the Slayer. She wanted to help her, but she knew that what Buffy needed at the moment was Willow's ear. "I think I'll go upstairs and unpack. I may see if Dawn wants to hear about our trip if she's at home."

            "She's upstairs. She hasn't been out of her room while I've been home since the day before yesterday," Buffy told Tara as the witch made her way to her room taking one of the bags up with her.

            Willow looked at her strong friend and realized how frail and ghostly she looked. She knew from experience that it took a lot to rattle Buffy. The only time she had ever like looked this was right after she had come back, only then and when Joyce had passed away. Willow led her to her own room, shut the door, and they sat there on Buffy's bed like they used to do back in high school.

            She looked her comrade in the face and asked, "Buff, what's wrong? You said things had been tense while we were gone. Buffy, what happened?"

            "I, I don't know really. I don't know why, but the how is kind of obvious, I mean a bomb makes a big whole. And the ruble was everywhere and ashes, so many ashes. But I don't, don't know why," Buffy rambled on, making no sense. All her disjoined thoughts were coming out at once. She hadn't talked to anyone about the explosion, so she only had thoughts, not words.

            "Buffy, wow, not so much with the sense right now are ya? Okay. I get that you don't know why, but, why what? What about a bomb?"

            "It went boom. And he, I can't find him," Buffy lost her composure and began weeping tears that she thought she didn't have. Willow pulled her into a hug and told her that everything would be alright. That's when she became suddenly very clear for the first time since Willow and Tara had gotten home.

            "No, things aren't going to be alright. Things are never going to be alright again. I don't mean any offence to you or anything, but who's going to have my back when something happens? Who's going to make patrolling interesting now? Why does every time I get happy, the powers that be rip it all away from me? Why does everyone I end up loving leave me? Besides, if he was going to go poof at some point, it should have been my job. Not that I would ever want to poof another boyfriend, but hello, sacred duty here. I need to go kill something. I'm going to go look for some unsuspecting demons," Buffy ranted before heading out to the hallway.

            As Buffy was leaving, Willow heard her mutter under her breath, "Stupid blonde vamp. I should have staked him years ago; would have saved myself all this."

            Finally, she understood. Willow sat there dumbfounded. No wonder Buffy was so upset. Someone had killed Spike, and Buffy had admitted that she loved him. Willow jumped off the bed and ran to tell Tara.

**********

            Buffy sat on the cliff overlooking the city. She had gone through all of the cemeteries several times, killed a few rather odd looking fiends, and decided to watch the sunset from the highest point in the town. The sky was a rainbow of colors. Streaks of pink form the sun shone across the heavens, turning the few clouds a vibrant hue of purple. It was calming that something so simple as the vast openness above her could produce such beauty. It took some of her pain away for a brief moment, some, but not all. She could imagine the people down below going about their lives. She could tell it was time to go home or to go slay the night's new fledglings when she could feel the calmness fading away along with the colors in the sky. As she stood up, she must have been seeing things, because she thought she saw the DeSoto pulling into Sunnydale, but she knew that could only happen in her dreams now.

**********

Okay, I know I went way AU in this chapter, but this is the way I wanted to take this story.

Sorry about the delay on this coming out. I had part of it done and then I was away from the house for two days.

Thanks everybody for the wonderful reviews. I feel special now. I already know what I want to do in the next chapter so I'll probably work on it tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 5

(Disclaimer in part one)

            She was sitting on her back porch steps, her back to the house watching the yard. She had been like that for the past hour and a half since she quit patrolling. The two fledglings and the eight-foot demon she had slayed had been no trouble, but the joy had gone out of killing since there was no one to watch. She quickly lost interest and headed home, stopping where she was now instead of going in. Buffy could here Dawn moving around downstairs and knew that if she went in her sister would go back up to her room and Dawn had spent enough time in there recently. Dawn still hadn't spoken to her sister since Buffy had told her.

            The Slayer looked up at the stars dotting the sky above her. Surely, they understood what she was going through since no one else seemed to. The stars had been there forever, watching as countless people lost people they had loved. But sometimes, even they burned out like everything else in life. But the funny thing is, it takes millions of years for the light to reach us. The stars we see might not really exist anymore, the end happens before you even see it. Kind of like all relationships, Buffy thought.

            She hung her head in defeat and starred instead at the ground. Too much reflecting can be bad for a girls mind and emotions. She felt so alone. She lifted her head and looked around. That feeling she got when he was around had swept over her, but then she remember that that wasn't possible and that she had been making herself feel like for the past two days to calm herself. Suddenly the grass was consuming all of her attention again. She didn't even notice the presence in the yard with her.

            "Hello pet," Spike greeted her not knowing what reaction to expect, but definitely not expecting the sobs that escaped her. Not knowing what to do or say, he stood where he was and asked, "What's wrong luv? Not like somebody died, least I hope not."

            She knew he wasn't really there, but she didn't want the daydream to end so she decided to play along. Without looking up she replied, "You did."

            "That's true pet, but it's been awhile. Hasn't really bothered me in a long time."

            "No, you went poof. The crypt, it went boom, and you went poof with it."

            "I don't know about all that, but I'm right here in the undead flesh."

            "You're not right here. You're not going to be right here again. You're not real. Every time you come and talk to me as soon as I start to think it's real you vanish."

            "Look at me pet. I'm real. I haven't gone poof yet." Spike walked up to her, reached out, and touched her on the shoulder.

            Buffy tensed. Never in her dreams had he touched her, she always woke up before then. She slowly raised her head and actually looked. He didn't disappear when she moved like in her dreams. Nothing jumped out and took him from her. Nothing exploded and he didn't go poof in front of her. He only looked at her, his piercing blue eyes filled with concern, concern for her and her happiness. The moonlight glowed off of his bleached hair and his had on his trademark all black clothing. She leaped up, threw her arms around his neck, and starred behind him. She soaked up the emotions raging through her body; happiness, safety, and rightness such as she had never experienced.

            An eternity passed before either of them moved from the other's embrace. He held her close and stroked her hair while she held onto him for dear life and wept. Eventually, Buffy eased away from the circle of his arms and placed her hands on his cheeks and looked him square in the eye. God, how she just wanted to get lost in those eyes and never come back to reality. With tears glistening in both of their eyes, she asked, "You're really here. You're really alive, well sort of alive, aren't you?"

            It amazed Spike that he meant that much to her. He had thought the blonde in front of him had felt for him, but the fact that his 'death' had effected like it had dumbfounded the vampire. He nodded while he said, "Yes, I am. It's getting kind of late. Slayers need their beauty sleep."

            Buffy nodded her agreement and started to turn toward the house when she realized something. "You don't have a place to go anymore. The crypt was blown up. Come with me." She grabbed his hand and led him into her home.

            She paused at the top of the stairs to see if Dawn was in her room since she hadn't been downstairs. Buffy could hear her moving around in her bed so she guided Spike on into her room. Sure, Dawn would be ecstatic when she found out, but for the night, Buffy wanted him being alive to be her own personal secret. She shut her bedroom door behind them and turned to look at him.

            "You are staying right here tonight. Buffy is going to have a good night sleep. Now strip."

            "I knew you were happy to see me, but this is a surprise."

            "Very funny. I didn't mean it like that. I haven't slept without nightmares since I saw the ruble that used to be your crypt. I'm going to get a good night sleep because I'm going to spend it simply curled up against you." She would no doubt regret her openness in the morning, but at the moment, Buffy was on an emotional high and really didn't care.

            They both prepared for sleep, she donning her soft pajamas and he clad only in his boxers. They lay down and true to her word; Buffy scooted into the curve formed by his body. Spike draped his arm protectively around her waist. Just when he thought she had fallen asleep, he heard her say, "Don't think this gets you off the hook. Tomorrow you're going to tell me where you ran off to."

            "Alright pet. It'll be the first thing I do."

            "You bet it will."

            It didn't take long for them both to relax and fall into dreams, smiles plastered on both their faces.

**********

See, I told ya it wouldn't take long to get this chapter out. I really like it, course that's probably cause 1) I wrote it and 2) it's shippery. I had planned to stop in a couple chapters more, but I know how I want to go with this and it may take a little while. School is starting up again soon, so chapters may be slower coming out, but this is still a major priority.

Thanks again for all the reviews, keep 'em coming everybody.


	6. Chapter 6

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 6

(Disclaimer in part one)

            Buffy was having a dream. It had to be a dream, because he was there. With his bleach blonde hair, cockney grin, and black leather duster all, he was there. He was talking to her. He was holding her. He was actually there. And that's when she woke up; expecting to discover that it was all a cruel dream, expecting to get her heart broke all over again. Then she felt it; the weight of a body pressed against her. She looked down at the arms protectively encircling her waist and the hand at the end at of that arm with black painted fingernails.

            She rolled over to face the vampire that was taking up half of her bed. She had known that it was him there before she actually saw any part of him. Giles would call it her slayer sense letting her know that there was a vamp nearby, but Buffy knew better. That part of her had nothing to with it where he was concerned, it was love that she felt; the elastic band that held them both together, connected at all times. He was part of her, now all she had to do was to let him know.

            She studied the planes of his face. The line of his high, defined cheekbones became a path for her gaze to follow. The scarred section of eyebrow, that would have marred any other face, was an enigma that only added to his rugged sense of power and hidden strength. His lips intrigued her and reassured her. She knew that anytime she wanted she could capture them with her own because he loved her, her and only her. The lack of wrinkles marking his face reminded her that he had died before he had a chance to get any. He was already dead and could stay with her forever. She gazed up at his blond locks, mussed by sleep, and wondered what they would look like if he didn't bleach them. And for that matter, without a reflection, how did he know when his roots needed to be touched up when he couldn't see them in a mirror.

            In a few minutes, two dark pools of cerualen returned her searching glances. A faint smile appeared on his lips when he realized that she had been watching him sleep. He expected her to be embarrassed at being caught, but he surprised her by simply smiling back and looking at him lovingly. He was elated that she had finally looked at him like that. The memory of something he had read once flashed across his mind, _we recognized the beginning and ending of love at our embarrassment when we are together_. Must be a good thing if she's gotten passed that, he thought to himself.

            Even though he was relishing in the present situation, he wanted to talk to her about what happened so he reluctantly broke the silence in the bedroom. "Hey pet."

            "Hey." Buffy wanted nothing more than to find out where he had gone to when he left like she made him promise to tell her, but there was something more pressing she needed to tell him. She had let too much time slip away and it took thinking she had lost him to give her this kind of resolve. She leaned up on her elbow so she was looking down at him and could see all of his face. "Before I ask where you were, and it had better be a really good story, there's something I have to tell you."

            Spike was a tad worried about the tone in her voice. She only used it when things were very serious or she was delivering bad news. He didn't trust his voice knowing that it would waver and betray his anxiety, so he settled on just nodding for her to go on.

            Buffy took a large breath, gathering her composure so she could get through her speech without losing her conviction. 

"When I thought that you had gone poof, that I had lost you, I was a mess. Went back into myself. Around everyone else I was just like I had been right after I came back, a shell of the person I was, just functioning on autopilot. I couldn't deal, couldn't cope. But the thing is; as much as I wanted to be that emotionless zombie that I had been, I couldn't. Being with you so much had brought me back more than anything that Willow did with magic, and I couldn't go back. The fire that you had rekindled in me forced me to deal with my feelings and it felt like I was going to be ripped apart because of them. And in this path to being whole again, I realized something; that I didn't know how I was going to make it without you because I love you." Buffy watched his eyes the whole time she talked to gauge his reaction and when it finally sunk in what she had said they glowed like she had never seen them before.

            "I love you so much Buffy. You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that. I'll tell you about where I went and the hows later, but I think this is the best time to tell you why. I went and got a soul, for you. I wanted to be the kind of man you needed, so I went and earned the return of my soul; no happiness strings attached."

            She considered this bit of startlingly information at first wasn't sure she was going to believe it, but then she saw it. She could see the truthfulness behind his eyes and the spark of humanity that he had earned. Buffy answered him not by saying anything, but by covering his lips with hers. It was tender, filled with passion, each exploring the deep corners of the other's mouth and trying to express all of their feeling for each other in that one act.

            They broke away and Buffy got a mischievous look on her face. She got out of bed and looked at him. "Come on. We need to get dressed. Dawn needs to know you're okay. She hasn't spoken to me in the two days since I told her about the explosion. She hated me for giving hope that you were alive."

            Spike saw the depressed expression that crossed her face. He got up and engulfed her in his arms. "Don't worry luv. She'll be herself again soon as she knows I'm still breathing, well sort of."

            Buffy swatted him on the chest and backed out of his embrace. They quickly slipped on their clothes, him in his from the day before and her in a pair of brown jeans and a peasant top. They went down the hall to the door to Dawn's room and Buffy knocked.

            "Dawnie. Can I come in? I have some news," Buffy called to her little sister.

            "Only if it's good, like that my best friend isn't a big pile of ashes in the cemetery." Outside in the hallway, both Spike and Buffy could barely contain their laughter at the irony in Dawn's response. 

Slowly they pushed open the door. Dawn flipped on her bed and asked, "What?" She froze when she saw him standing against the doorframe. If he hadn't hand his arm around Buffy, actually touching her, Dawn would have thought he was a ghost.

            "Hey Bit," Spike called out to her.

            She quietly sighed his name more than said it before she fainted from shock.

**********

Alright people, here is chapter 6, although I'm not sure that you deserve it. I start getting nice again in my little notes down here at the bottom and the reviews shrink up practically nothing. I mean I appreciate the ones I've gotten, they're invaluable to me, but writer's block is more prevalent when no one writes in. But like I said, I won't hold back chapters just because of that, I want to finish this as much as most of you guys want to read it. Okay, that's enough of a rant. Next part shouldn't take too long to be out. Thanks everybody for reading thus far.


	7. Chapter 7

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 7

(Disclaimer in part one)

            Buffy went to the bathroom to get some water to revive Dawn with while Spike prop the teenager up in her bed. Some water splashed on her face and a few yells from her big sister, and Dawn was awake. She looked at the two people sitting on her now wet comforter and a grin spread across her face. She launched herself at the blond vampire and hugged him almost tight enough to break his ribs. Spike gladly returned the embrace and petted her hair much like he had done to Buffy in yard the previous night.

            The Slayer felt a tad out of place in the room. She loved these two people more than anything in the world, but she knew they needed time to talk so she gently got up from the bed and walked to the doorway. "I'm gonna go downstairs and see if we have anything to eat. I may got to the store to give you guys some time alone," she said before shutting the door behind her.

            Dawn looked in wonder at him. She didn't know what to say to him. The day before she had thought of so much, she hadn't gotten to tell him, but then, seeing him in the flesh, it all faded away. She couldn't even form a whole thought. She simply stammered out, "You…you're not… I thought."

            "I know what you thought Bit, but I'm right here." He reassured her.

            "Good. I thought that wouldn't be around anymore, and who was going to protect me when Buffy's not here, and who would actually listen to me?"

            Spike grinned at the way him being alive caused her to ramble. "Well I guess you don't have to worry about that anymore. Besides, no one around here is any kind of substitute for the Big Bad that is me."

            "That's not funny," Dawn said swatting him on the arm, but grinning nonetheless.

            "Course it is, everything I do is funny," his voice took on a more serious tone, "You don't have to worry 'bout me Bit. There was just something I had to do, and since that's done, I don't plan on anything taking me away from you Summers women again."

            "So, what was so important that you would let us think you died for it?" That was his Bit, always with the direct approach.

            "I really can't say yet. I want to tell you, but I owe it to your big sis to tell her first," he could see the doubt and apprehension in her eyes, "But it is good; a little complicated, but good."

***********

            When Buffy returned home a couple hours later she was greeted by a rather comical sight. The love of her life, a Master Vamp, and her little sister, the Key, were sitting on the couch watching cartoons. They both heard her come in and Spike rose to help her put away the food she had in her hands. Dawn saw that they had it under control and didn't want to get in the way, so she stayed by the television.

            Silently, Buffy and Spike worked at putting up the food each sneaking glances at the other; each failing at their attempts to go unnoticed. After the last piece of food had been put away, she caught his gaze with hers. Slowly, she glided across the kitchen and took him by the hand, leading him upstairs. Shutting the door of her bedroom behind them, Buffy turned around and looked at Spike already having sat down on the bed, her bed that was slowly becoming their bed. In the past this situation would have made innuendos pop into his head, but by the questioning look in her eyes he knew she wanted the explanation due her.

            He waited until she sat down beside him, then he turned to face her. Holding her small hands in his, he rubbed circles into their backs, not really knowing how to begin. Spike took an unneeded breath and let it out before he began.

            "I know that my being gone hurt you. I know that the thought of me never coming back tore you apart inside. And I know that you had to be strong for not only yourself, but for the Bit too, but I want to you to know, that what I did, I did for you. I wanted, no, needed to be the kind of man that you deserved. I didn't feel like I deserved to love you; like I didn't deserve to be loved by you. I did some research, yes I did research, and found out about a demon in Africa who could give me what I needed, what I lacked. It was hard, and I had to earn it, but I got my soul back, for you."

            He saw her eyes flutter, with a tinge of anger flash through them, and her face go pale. Quickly he scooped her up into his arms, because this time it was her turn to faint.

**********

Hey guys. Sorry about the week long delay between parts 6 & 7. It's official, homework is evil. Buffy should be fighting it. I know this isn't as long as it should be, but I want time to work on the next part before I moved onto stuff I should be doing. I'm not that happy with this chapter, but it turned out better than I thought it would. What do you think?


	8. Chapter 8

Lost in the Smoke  
Chapter 8  
(Disclaimer in part one)  
  
  
  
"Come on pet," Spike said as he rubbed the cheek of Buffy's prone form, "Come on luv, open your eyes and look at me." A smile spread across the vampire's face as her eyelids fluttered open to reveal brown eyes, filled with, growing anger. Well, he hadn't really expected anger, but then again, this was Buffy he was dealing with. She quickly removed herself from beside him and took up an imposing stance at the foot of her bed.  
  
"So I guess that means the chip doesn't work anymore then. I wonder how many towns you pillaged on the way back from Africa?" He was amazed that even after telling him she loved him that she would still jump to that distrusting conclusion.  
  
"I haven't killed anyone. Don't even know if the chip works or not. Haven't tried to test it out. And just for the record pet, no one except stuffy watchers use the word 'pillage' anymore." He didn't want to be cross with her, but her rage was causing him rage in return. They couldn't help their voices from getting increasingly louder.  
  
"And you think what, that you deserve medal for that? You just leave town with no regard for how it would effect Dawn or I. If you had just told us before then we wouldn't have been put through all this."  
  
"Now wait just a minute here pet. I had no control over what happened back here. It's not like I blew up my own crypt or anything. What would you have done if I had told you? Probably would have run off and told that poncy Angelus that you two could finally make with the smoochies forever I'd wager. Forget all about it being old Spike who actually wanted to love you without a bloody soul."  
  
"Oh no, you are so not going to make this about Angel. This is about you Spike. Besides, how insecure are you, that everything automatically makes you need to compare yourself to him? You went and got your soul back because you subconsciously wanted to his equal, didn't you?"  
  
"Bloody hell woman. No, I did this for you. No one else. You. I finally listened to you agreed that I was beneath you. I knew I had to change if you were ever going to love me the way I love you. The trials I went through would have killed most demons, but I made it because I had one thought driving me. I kept saying to myself, I'm going to be the MAN that Buffy needs and deserves. I knew you wouldn't ever love someone without a soul."  
  
"You spent more time with me than anyone else in last few months. How could you of all people not notice it? How could you not realize that I already loved you without it?"   
  
Spike didn't know what to say. Hearing her tell him that she loved him the night before was wonderful, but finding out that she had loved him before he left was unimaginable. He watched her eyes to see if she regretted her admission and saw that she didn't. He did however see her mood change.  
  
A shock of realization hit Buffy and the truth of the situation sunk in. The urge to hit him faded quickly and instead she wanted to hit herself. "But, if all the horrible things I said to you made you do it, then I forced you to leave. I forced another man out of my life. I made someone else leave me. I brought all this pain on myself. I brought it all on Dawn. How could I have been such a bitch and not even see what I caused to happen around me?"  
  
The tears came unbidden to her eyes and flowed down her face, paled from the blow of reality. Spike rose to stand in front of her and brushed the offensive droplets from her face. He knew without having to think about it jus how to hold her like she needed to be held at the moment, half way between the way you would child whose best friend just moved away and a lover you haven't seen in months.  
  
"Oh luv, it's not your fault. We just didn't handle things very well. These things happen. It's not your fault."  
  
  
**********  
  
Down the hall in her room, Dawn had been trying her best to let her pillow swallow all the noise coming from her sister's room. She hated having to two most important people in her life fighting, especially when Spike had just gotten back. Her first reaction to screaming was to shed a few tears over the shattered, short happiness and to pummel the pillow, that now rested over her ears, with punches. But then she realized that this could be a good thing. It meant that things would be back to normal. Buffy wouldn't be depressed and Spike would still be around to talk to her. And it seemed like there would be improvements too, as Dawn remembered they had been much more touchy-feely during the day.  
  
Also, she had already figured out what it was that he wouldn't tell her earlier. She had distinctly heard the words 'Spike' and 'soul' in the same sentence during the shouting match. The implications of that didn't even register to her. Dawn simply grinned at the thought of what the Scoobies would do when they found out. "Xander's gonna die," she thought and giggled.  
  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
  
I'm actually liking this chapter and it takes a lot for me to like something I wrote. I freely admit there may be grammatical errors, but hey, they give it character. (Okay so maybe that's just my excuse, but it works.) I thought Buffy just accepting the soul was too easy, hence why I went with the whole being mad thing. Hope everyone likes it. Sorry about formatting everything to the left. I worked for half an hour to fix it, but the site wouldn't accept it any other way. Stupid technology. 


	9. Chapter 9

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 9

(Disclaimer in part one)

The last signs of the sun's rays tingeing the sky had faded only minutes before the trio walked out of the house heading toward the Magic Box. Buffy had called the gang to have them all meet there, but she conveniently left out why; some things had to be kept from Xander until the last minute for his own good. 

Buffy, clad in black leather pants and a white turtleneck sweater, led the small group, while dragging Spike along with her by the hand. She intended on entering the shop that way and let the others think whatever they wanted to. Dawn, white pants and black top to visually backup her big sister, was ambling behind them grinning as if someone had just found out her favorite teen group was coming to her house.

The bell over the entrance of the Magic Box chimed as Dawn walked through the door. All the Scoobies looked up at the noise and gave her sympathetic looks. They were a tad confused when she smiled in returned and seemed as happy as they had ever seen her. She stood in the middle of the room and turned around when Buffy came in. Everyone was once again surprised by the look of glee she had until she came in far enough for them to see that Spike was with her. The pair came to a stop flanking Dawn and waited for the questions to be hurled at them.

Willow and Tara looked at each other and then back to the group in front of them several times. They had been trying to give Buffy and Dawn some space by staying at Xander's the night before; who sat opening and closing his mouth at the sight of the bleached vamp being sort of alive and well.

Anya was the only one smiling, happy for all involved. "Hello everyone. It's good that you're not dead Spike."

"Why thank you Anya. I thought so too," he said with a grin.

"But, I thought you were in the explosion. How are you not all floating on the breeze right now?" Willow asked exceptionally confused.

"It was easy. I wasn't there. Had already left town on a little errand."

"So what was so important that you would leave town, without a word to anyone, especially Buffy? Do you know how much pain that caused her? Do you even care, being the evil creature that you are?" Xander hurled accusations at Spike.

"Well, this is all gonna come out sooner or later and I do so what to throw it in his face right now. Alright with you if I tell him now?" Buffy asked, leaning up against her lover. She had no doubt that he could resist her onsets and she also knew that he wanted to see 'the whelp's' reaction.

"Anything you want pet."

"Everyone. I have two announcements. You may not like them, but like they say; you can please some people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time. Spike went and got his soul back. It's not a curse so it's permanent. Also, I love him." The Slayer snaked her arm around his waist, making sure all in the room noticed. She felt relieved that she had gotten that out in the open and the blond at her side was practically glowing with happiness and pride that she had actually told them.

"That's so great Buffy. I mean, wow, that's like amazing. You guys, you, Spike, and Dawn, you're like a little family. That's so cute." Willow gushed.

"I know. Isn't cool?" Dawn remarked from beside the blond, supernatural couple.

"How can you people think this is cool, even remotely a good idea? He's a) dead, b) evil, and c) has tried to kill us numerous times. How do you know this isn't just a ploy to get you to lower your defenses so he can kill you in your own bed?" Xander retorted.

"Xander, as much as you don't want to admit it Spike loves me and would never do anything to hurt me, with or without the soul," Buffy replied harshly.

"But Buff, he's a demon. It's in their nature to kill," responded Xander.

"It's not in his nature. And just when was the last time that you examined your past love life, Xander? May I remind you of the mummy or the giant bug lady," Buffy retorted.

"What about me Xander? Aren't I a demon, and yet you still say you love me? How hypocritical can you be?" Anya demanded.

"All that's different. None of them, or you Ahn, ever tried to kill us. You're the Slayer Buffy so you don't have to worry as much, but how can you leave him in the same house as Dawnie?" That they thought that he could ever consciously hurt Dawn repulsed Spike.

Tara was shocked that Xander had even suggested what he had and she could no longer hold in her emotions. "Xander leave them alone. They're happy. Don't rain on everyone else's parade just because you're not. Until you face your own issues, maybe it's not such a good idea for you to around us."

Hearing those cutting remarks coming from the quietest member of the group finally got to him. Quickly, Xander put on his coat and exited the shop.

Buffy looked around at the ones still there, her arm still wrapped around Spike. She looked at up him and said, "Well, that went better than I thought it would," looking back at her friends, "Tonight is all about celebrating, but tomorrow, we start working. I want to give who ever planted that bomb a piece of my mind."

**********

A pair of eyes looked into the window of the shop. He had seen the young man leave in a hurry earlier and had then moved in to get a better view. He saw the group inside and felt hatred fill him. Some how the vampire had escaped the explosion, so that would have to be just his first attempt.

**********

What do you guys think of this chapter? Did I do the confrontation good enough, I'm not sure. I started writing this part and then I realized that I had committed a writing faux pas. I had forgotten to account for Willow and Tara since they live the same house, so I had to come up with something plausible. That's what happens when no one reads your stuff before you post it.


	10. Chapter 10

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 10

(Disclaimer in part one)

            The scene that greeted Willow when she looked up from the table was slightly ironic. Buffy, the girl who would rather take several beating than research, was urging everyone on and running the group like a drill sergeant.

            They were all gathered at Buffy's and had been since mid-afternoon. They had very little to go on about the explosion. Most people would start making a list of the intended victim's enemies, but with Spike that would have take longer than it takes Buffy to get dressed. Instead, they had brainstormed, coming up with nothing. Their resoles were wearing thin and their attentions were wavering.

            "I have an idea. I mean, it might work," Tara announced.

            "What do your idea baby?" Willow asked her lover.

            "There were cops and firefighters around right after the explosion weren't there? Maybe we could get a copy of their reports; see if they found anything while they were down there," Tara replied.

            "Good idea Tara. Will, you get on the computer and see what you can dig up. I think Spike and I should go over to the crypt and take a look ourselves. Then, maybe go beat up Willy and see if he knows anything," Buffy agreed with an evil grin at the thought of pummeling the town snitch.

            "Okay Buffy. We'll keep our noses to the grind," assured Willow.

            The Slayer nodded her acquiescence to her friend and walked out of her house, vampire boyfriend in tow.

*********

            The scent of char and ashes still clung to the area even after the several days that had transpired since the blast. Footprints from the various rescue squad members marred the ground just the entrance to the crypt. The stone that was still, what little there was, had been turned a grainy black   color from the sot caked on it, and the grass around the place was still scorched in places. Both blond warriors, temper by years of fighting stopped in their tracks at the sight; he because this was the first time he had seen his home in days, and she because then sight brought back the feelings she had felt when she had first witnessed the scene on the television.

            Buffy turned and looked at Spike. She could see the swirl of emotions just below the surface of his calm exterior. Putting all of her comfort in the act, she grasped his hand and placed it between hers.

            He glanced down at the love of his life and of his unlife and smiled despite the pain he was feeling. He should have felt aimless at the loss of his home, but he knew that he had a new home with the Slayer and her sister, and it wasn't like he had owned anything valuable anyway. They were all that mattered to him now.

            Inside, the crypt was a reminiscent of a deserted battlefield. Shards of this or that littered the area and the air was filled with a hallowed quality, a hush that neither of them wanted to shatter. Silently, they split up and set about the task of searching for anything useful. The upper level yielded no clues as to the culprit or even anything that could remotely be salvaged, so the pair made their way to the second level.

            After descending the ladder, it was evident that the blast had originated up top because this story was visibly less demolished. Things were almost as they had been when Spike had last seen them; minus the obvious charring and slight disarray. The hint of smoke in the air was diminished down there. A few sad minutes passed as they gave it a once over before leaving the crypt, both of them glad to leave it. The place held some good memories, but infinitely more bad ones then good, and Spike realized that he didn't really mind losing it, that he would much rather have the chance to make the memories ahead of him than to have the crypt back.

********

            When Buffy and Spike arrived at the Magic Box, Willow still had her head bent over the laptop on the research table, while Anya and Dawn passed some printouts between themselves. Tara was bringing her lover a cup of coffee. The redheaded witch looked up at her best friend beaming.

            "Hey Buff. I've got news," Willow said rather smugly.

            "Willow did her whole hacker thing and now we have something to go on," Dawn grinned.

            "Ooh Will, go you. So, what ya go for me?" the Slayer inquired taking a seat in Spike's lap and draping her right arm around his shoulders.

            "Well, I got into the fire department system first, which was a big bust. All the good details were in the Sunnydale police department mainframe. I printed out a copy of all of their reports," she said gesturing to the papers Anya and Dawn had, "Also, they had pictures and diagrams of what was left of the incendiary device that they found at the scene."

            Seeing the confused look that one glance at the schematics had put on his love's face, Spike decided to cut through all the technical mumbo-jumbo. "And all of this helps us how Red?"

            "I used the specifics of the device to determine where it could have been bought; that is assuming that it wasn't home made, or mail-ordered, or something else. But, I can tell from stuff on the Internet that it was probably purchased at one of maybe ten places in LA."

            "That narrows it down some I guess. At least it's more than we had," Buffy replied.

            "I don't see how you people can think that that is even remotely helpful. The only reason it probably came from LA is that it's the closest large city near here. It could have been purchased in another city and brought here, or even another country, or anywhere. And even if did come from Los Angeles, Willow said there were ten places it could have come from, in a city with that many people. It just doesn't seem to provide that much hope to me," Anya commented with her usual bluntness.

            "She does have a point luv," the resident vamp retorted, followed by a string of damns from his girlfriend.

**********

I am so sorry about the delay on this chapter everybody. I had major writer's block. I knew where I wanted to go with the story; I just didn't know how I wanted to get there. Plus, I'm not really happy with this chapter, but I don't know of how to improve it. Although getting it done has made me want to get back to writing faster. Please review and tell me what you think. Your reviews are a major helped to inspiring me.


	11. Chapter 11

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 11

(Disclaimer in part one)

The Scooby gang left the Magic Box soon after Anya's tirade crushed all their newfound hope. With everyone going off in their own directions, Buffy, Spike, and Dawn were on their way back to Revello Drive in silence. Tension and aggravation had tightened up the muscles in the Slayer's back. The idea that they were nowhere closer to the truth after a whole day of work annoyed her to no end. She abruptly stopped in the middle of the road half way home.

The vampire looked quizzically at his love and asked, "What's the matter pet?"

"You guys go on home without me. I need to go kill something and take out some frustration," Buffy replied.

"You want me to come with, pet? I can join you once I drop the Nibblet off at the house," he suggested, earning him a glare from said teenager. Obviously, she didn't like being considered a young burden, but it didn't really bother any.

"No, it's okay. I'll just patrol some and be there in a bit. You just make sure Dawn does the homework I know she has." She waited from him to nod his acceptance and then kissed him on the cheek, setting out for the closest cemetery.

*******

From the shadows, he watched the three people walk down the street toward their home. He stayed out of the light of the street lamps and just far enough away from the group so none of them would sense his presence.

He chucked to himself. He had thought of them as people. To most people that's what they were; normal people, a family. But he knew better. He knew the secrets they kept from the rest of the world; that one of them was the Slayer, the Chosen One, one was a Master Vampire, the ones the Slayer was supposed to kill instead of walk hand-in-hand with, and the third wasn't even real, but a girl created simply to hold pure energy itself, the Key. What a family they made.

He saw the chance of tonight being when he would succeed improve greatly when he saw them split up, the Slayer, because that's how he had to think of her right now, emotions would only inhibit him, she going one way and the other two going another. It would be easier if the little sister had gone with any of the other Scoobies, but she still wouldn't be much in the way of a crimp in his plans. Silently, he followed the pair to the house and waited for his opportunity to strike.

*******

Patrol proved to be boring and less than satisfying for Buffy. She had only dusted two vamps and one had been a fledgling only half out of his grave, so that one really didn't count. Her sweep through three cemeteries had done very little to provide her with any stress relief, so she decided to just call it a night. She smiled, knowing that at least spending some time curled up to her undead boyfriend would make everything better.

Turning, she gave the place one last glance, seeing only rows of headstones and desolated crypts, before leaving the cemetery and heading home.

*******

It took a while, but finally a good prospect was presented to the man hiding outside the Summers' home. He thought the girl would never leave her houseguest alone, but eventually she gave up pestering him and went to her room. Minutes later, music could be heard blaring from speakers in her room, music loud enough that she would never hear the scuffle that would surely take place down stairs.

A quick peak in the window assured him that the blonde vampire was indeed asleep on the couch in the living room. He walked around the porch to the front door and opened it, using a spell to muffle any noise it made. Being in the good versus evil battle this long had taught him a few things, some helpful spells included, although no one had any idea. Also, not having to worry about being invited in, like some trespassers would have to be, made things a lot easier.

He entered the living and watched the person on the sofa sleep, the creature unconsciously taking unneeded breath. William the Bloody had always been an enigma to him, loving and embracing being a vampire, but still clinging to the habits of humanity. Yes, he was always an enigma, and a pain in the man's sides.

Simply staking him had been the plan, but now that seemed too easy and quick. Spike was woken up by the force of a punch hitting him square in the face and the feeling of his body being forcibly lifted from the couch. A look of confusion passed over his face when he saw who his attacker was, but it was quickly pushed aside by the thought that he had to fight to protect himself and Dawn, who he remembered was upstairs, incase the attacker had gone insane and decided to hurt her too.

The fight lasted a little while, both men fighting for something dearly important for them, but the rage flowing through the intruder proved to be too much in the end for even the Big Bad to handle. In an instant, the man was sitting astride Spike with a stake poised to kill him.

*******

Buffy was sauntering up the front steps of her house when she sensed that something was a miss. She couldn't hear any disturbances since all noises were being drowned out by Dawn's stereo, even thought the sound was having to come through two walls to get to where she was.

That's when the Slayer noticed the shadows moving around inside her living room. She could tell one was Spike, and the other looked familiar, but she couldn't place it. What she did recognize, was that the two figure were fighting fiercely. She bounded into the house and turned to look into her living room. Her muscles were already tensed to fight.

The sense in front of her was chilling. Spike was on the floor with the attacker sitting n top of him. The man's back was toward her, so she ran into the room. The man had been alerted to her presence when Spike had looked over at her. Buffy saw the stake in the air, raised, ready to plunge down into him. She now looked into his face was shocked by who looked back at her. Their eyes locked and his arm, holding the stake, stayed still in the air.

Shocked by the sight before her, before her Slayer senses took over Buffy only had time to quietly utter his name once in disbelief, "Angel."

**********

I had so much fun writing this chapter and I'm proud of it too. My day has just gone so down hill in the last few minutes, so writing this helped considerably. Now, I think I'm gonna go workout some, because I feel the sudden urge to slay something. What did you guys think of it? Any comments, thoughts, anything? I could really use some good news, so please review. Oh, and I read that you thought the formatting to the left and everything was better so I'm going to go back and change the formatting in the other chapters when I get a chance. Thanks for the input.


	12. Chapter 12

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 12

(Disclaimer in part one)

            When Buffy was stuck in place by the site in her living room, the Slayer in her took over and she vaulted toward the two scuffling vampires. She quickly propelled Angel off of Spike and unceremoniously pinned him to the ground. He was thrashing about beneath her, trying to regain his footing and resume the offensive.

"Let me up Buffy. I have to kill him," Angel screamed in his rage-induced fervor.

"You don't have to do anything of the sort," she retorted, slapping him across the face a couple times to attempt to knock some sense into him or at least to subdue him. She pushed all her weight on him while she turned her attention to Spike, who was a tad worse for the wear from the fight. "Spike, you okay? What the hell happened?"

"I'm alright; nothing that won't heal in day. I was asleep on the couch waiting for you to come home and the next thing I know the bloody poof here is picking me put up in the air. Didn't even hear him come in," Spike answered, motioning toward his writhing grandsire.

"He's ruining everything. I have to kill him. Don't you get it? He's ruining everything?" Angel yelled, trying to convince Buffy of whatever his twisted point was.

"I don't care what you think you have to do. I am not going to let you kill him. And just what is it that he's ruining?" the Slayer demanded. His refusal t answered greatly annoyed her, so she gave him one good hit on the side of his head, rendering him unconscious. Not really distressing about whether it would hurt him any or not, Buffy dragged him down the stairs to the basement and chained him to the wall. She revealed in the sound his still body made hitting each step in turn on the decent.

She returned to the main floor and found Spike in the kitchen holding a towel to one of the cuts on his face. Standing behind him, she wrapped her arms around him and laid her cheek on his back. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. You know it takes more than a wanker like him to take me down for very long, pet."

"Just long enough for him to almost stake you. If I hadn't come home then…" her voice trailed off and he could detect the uncertainty and fear in her tone. He turned around in her embrace and engulfed her in his own.

"But you did, so what ifs and could ofs don't matter. I'm okay and the magnificent poof down there can't bother you until you decide to go downstairs."

"What do you think is wrong with him? You don't think he lost his soul do you?"

"I don't know pet. It's possible, but this really doesn't seem Angelus' style. He was always more into the torture then just killing a bloke. It always had to be an art with that one."

"I'm gonna go call Willow and Tara and have them come over here to do a spell on Angel. Hopefully they can tell us if he still has his soul or not. I should probably let the rest of the gang know what happened too," Buffy said, leaving his side to go use the phone.

*******

In the span of thirty minutes, all of the Scooby gang was assembled in the Summers' basement. Buffy had been forced to knock Angel out again when he was about regain consciousness inhibiting Willow's spell. It was concluded that the vampire did still retain his soul. The group decided to go back to the living room and leave the Slayer with her captive, figuring that he would reveal more without an audience.

Buffy sat in silence waiting for him to wake up, thinking, considering possible solutions to the questions she had begun asking herself. A sound originating form the opposite side of the room alerted her to the fact that Angel was waking and she rose to stand in front of him.

"Alright Angel. I hate to have you all chained up like this, but at the moment I don't trust you in the same building with Spike." She ignored the flash of vehemence that went through his gaze and continued. "I want straight answers and I want them now. Why did you try to kill him, twice?"

"I had to. He was ruining it; he was ruining everything. I don't know how, but he's brainwashed you, all of you into accepting him. He's evil. You deserve someone normal. I left so you could have a normal life, and he's ruining it."

"Oh I see. You're mad because Spike is messing up the way you think the world should be, including my life; ruining all the plans you made for me. But, that's not really the reason, is it? That's just what you've convinced yourself of. You're really upset because he loves me and has something that you can't have."

"He can't love you. He's incapable of it. You have to have a soul to feel love."

"That's where you're wrong you poof, as my other half commonly refers to you. He does love me and has for a long time. Having a soul doesn't matter when it comes to loving; it all depends on the person behind it. Spike may be insecure at times when it comes to you, but I know that he definitely is the better man, because you are the one not strong enough to be yourself when your lacking your soul. He loves me regardless of whatever else happens, and I love him just as much. So you stay there, although I don't really see how you're going to leave, and think about all that."

Buffy turned her back on the brunette vampire who had been stunned to silence. She casually sauntered over to the steps and began to ascend them. Mid way up the stairs, she paused, looked back at him with an evil grin on her face and said, "And to just torment you a little bit more, you're not so special anymore. Spike has a soul now too."

*******

None of the others had heard, but Spike's vampiric senses let him in on the conversation going on beneath the floor. A smile graced his face when he heard the Slayer defend him repeatedly and call him her other half.

"I guess the poof was just being an irate, sodding wanker about everything. Bet the cheerleader finally left him," he chuckled before heading to meet Buffy at the top of the stairs.

**********

Okay everybody, I am so sorry about not updating sooner. I had planned to just leave that cliffhanger for a couple days and then I had to write a few papers for school and I just didn't get it done until now. If want to complain in your reviews about the wait, it's fine; I kind of expected it. Well, what did you guys think of this part? I just wanted to make Angel into the mean crapper I know he can be. He was so much more interesting evil. Oh, and to answer to the review that commented on the timeline with the whole boat thing. That was just an error on my part. I had thought to drag that part of the story out, but then it went faster than I anticipated. Let's just chalk it up to this being my first Buffy fic and not having a beta. So thanks everybody for reading; I'm almost done.


	13. Chapter 13

Lost in the Smoke

Chapter 13

(Disclaimer in part one)

Buffy walked into the living room and looked at the assembled group, the Scoobies. All of them had a haunted look on their faces; wondering why and how one of their former comrades could try to kill one of them more than once. None of them even had a second thought at suddenly considering Spike one of them, not even Xander.

"Buffy. What made him do it?" Tara asked. It was hard for her to ever imagine that the strong woman that Buffy was now would ever follow Angel around like a lovesick puppy. And she couldn't ever see him being the kind person they all said he had been, having only seen his behavior of recent.

Spike saw that Buffy was going to stay quiet for a bit, so he answered. "I heard him. The wanker just didn't want her to be happy s'all, Glenda."

"No, it's not that he didn't want me to be happy. He just wanted me to be his brand of happy. He wanted my life to be easily categorized and normal after he left. Angel didn't realize that my life will never be normal, and that normal just doesn't make me happy," Buffy replied squeezing her vampire's hand.

She took a few cleansing breathes then continued. "I don't know what to do about Angel, but for now it can wait. I need to distress. I'm going to out on the porch and she if I can count all the stars." Buffy walked toward and out the door, never letting go of Spike's hand.

**********

Angel looked up when he heard footsteps fall on the stairs. Trying to head off an argument before one started and he was forced to think about her with Spike, he spoke, expecting it to be Buffy that was coming to confront him. "You're just wasting your time. You might as well go back upstairs because there is nothing you can say to make me accept that my excuse of a grand-childe is really what you need."

"Well, I don't know what you've hearing, but Willow's the only one around here that's taken to batting for the other team." Xander joked.

"Sorry Xander. I thought you were Buffy."

"I know what you thought and I know what you secretly wanted. You wanted to belittle her and tell her that she's making a gigantic mistake and don't you even try to deny it. I know better than anyone how that line of thought goes, because I've lived it oh so many times. I've always been on the anti-vampire boyfriend bandwagon, but not this time."

"How can you even say that? Spike is evil. He's killed hundreds of people. Their deaths don't seem to bother him even though he has a soul. How can you just accept and condone him being in the same room as her?"

"I accept it because I finally see what you won't let yourself see. He loves her, simple as that. And she loves him. Spike loves Buffy; even when he didn't have the soul, he loved her. That's what it all boils down to he can do something you never could."

Xander waited a few minutes, trying to gauge whether the creature before him, that he used to consider an ally, would acknowledge the truth in front of him. What scared him the most was that in Angel's behavior he saw himself and the way he had acted in the past. He realized there was nothing he could do to help the current situation he returned the main floor of the house.

Angel watched him leave and wondered to himself whether it was really his own sense of self rather than any facilitated fears of Spike that had driven him to this point.

*********

Out in the backyard, Spike sat in one of the wood lawn chairs looking down at his Slayer. Buffy was in his lap, molded to his chest, looking up at him. He envisioned that the moonbeams made her glow with an ethereal haze, and she pictured the twinkling of the stars was reflected in the sparkling of his eyes. All she wanted to do was to simply get lost in the depths of his gaze, to not have to face the reality of life that was trying to barrel her down.

"Whatcha thinkin' bout pet?" Spike asked, venturing to break the silence that surrounded the pair.

"Trying to decide what I'm gonna do about the poof currently chained to my basement." The bleached vampire had to laugh at her unconscious use of his name for Angel.

"It's your decision luv, but we'll all back you up not matter what. You know that don't you?"

"Yeah. If I just let him go He'll probably come after you again and I can't let him do that, but I can't leave him in the basement forever either. The best solution would be to kill him so I could sleep knowing I won't wake up to a bed full of ashes care of him staking you, but I don't think I can bring myself to do it."

"And I wouldn't even consider asking you to. There is an alternative. We just haven't thought of it yet s'all." 

Buffy's only response was to nod her head and bury her chin farther into the comfort of his side.

After some time Buffy shifted, her body a tad restless in his embrace, and Spike sensed resolve coming off of her in waves. Her natural Slayer confidence was filling her, replacing the vulnerability she had been letting through from the past hour or so. Without saying anything she moved from his embrace to stand above him, reached out for his hand and led him back into the house.

**********

The Scoobies were startled by the whirlwind that was the Slayer and the vampire in her wake come storming through the residence. From their positions on the various pieces of living room furniture where they had been discussing the current predicament, Xander, Dawn, Tara, Willow, and Anya could all clearly see the tenacity played across their friends face. The kind of face she usually only pulled out for apocalypses.

Worried, Willow called out to her, "Hey Buff, what are you planning on doing about Angel?"

Without pausing, Buffy yelled behind her, "Don't worry. I'm taking care of it."

**********

Buffy didn't stop walked until her feet had carried both her and Spike to the basement, directly in front of her captive. She locked her stare with Angel and snaked her arm around her lover in defiance of what Angel thought.

"Alright Angel, this ends here and now. I am the Slayer and as such, as far as you're concerned, I am the law. I am going to tell you how things are going to be, and there will be no discussion. 

"Although I probably should, I'm not going to kill. You will not be back in Sunnydale. You will not have any contact with any of my friends or family. And if there are any attempts whatsoever, to cause harm to Spike, I will assume you were behind it and will have no reservations about performing my sacred duty by dusting your sorry ass."

Buffy walked over to the wall, glaring at her ex-lover the entire way. She unlocked to the manacles tethering him to the wall and nonchalantly reported to him.

"I want you out of this town by the time Dawn has to be at school in the morning. You might want to hurry. Sunrise is in a few hours; it'd be a shame if you got caught out without your sunscreen."

Angel gave his love and his grandchilde one last look and then bounded up the basement stairs. Seconds later, the sound of the front door slamming shut and the exclamations of the Scoobies could be heard throughout the house.

**********

It had taken some time to convince the gang that there was nothing left to worry about and to convince them that fists and just words had been used to diffuse the crisis. Eventually they had conceded and only Buffy, Dawn, and Spike had been left in the house. After promising a more detailed account to Dawn in the morning, they split up and went to bed.

Buffy checked to ensure that no light could in around the curtains when the sun came up, then turned off the light and crawled into bed beside the true love of her life. She fit herself into the curve of his body and he encircled her with his strong, pale arms, the only things separating them were his boxers and her silk nightgown. Both of them drifted off to sleep with a smile on their faces, knowing that this was the way they would spend eternity, being in the arms of the person they love.

FIN

**********

So everybody, this is the end. I know that there has been a gigantic lapse between the previous chapter and this one and I am so very sorry for it. Writing the ending was so hard because I wasn't ready to admit it was over even though it was. I want to thank everybody who has read all the way to the end and especially those who have reviewed. This was my first attempt at a multipart story and also my first Buffy story, so I wasn't sure how it would turn out, but you guys seem to have liked it, so I guess it wasn't that bad. It's taught me some things that should definitely help in future stories. I haven't decided what to write about next, so any suggestions would be appreciated. Please review and tell me what you think about the entire story. And once again, thanks for reading and enjoying my work.       -Aenigmatis


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